You’ve Never Seen Crypto Charts Like This – Seriously, You Need Therapy!

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So, there was this slightly bewildered soul known as Koroush Khaneghah—a name that, let’s face it, sounds like the last two rounds of a Scrabble game gone awry. He popped up on X (as if the letter marks suddenly became a social media platform) to share some of his cryptic wisdom—oh, the irony! He identifies a select few charts that he claims will “dictate” the coming cosmic shifts in the cryptocurrency universe. Yes, the fate of your digital fortune rests on the shoulders of charts! How is that for pressure?

BTC/USD: The Great Crypto Herald

It appears Khaneghah has chosen BTC/USD as the almighty yardstick of the crypto cosmos! According to this sage trader:

“This decides what stage of the bull run we’re in.”
– Breaks above ATH resume the bull run
– Consolidation below ATH -> Altcoins enter accumulation zones
– Major structural breaks -> Time to panic!”

In other words, if Bitcoin is just hovering around like an indecisive teenager, you might want to prepare your inventory of altcoins for a potential shopping spree—or just a prolonged observation of speculative boredom. Currently, it seems like BTC/USD is ranging below its all-time highs, which is like staring at your refrigerator every few minutes hoping it will spontaneously yield a pizza.

BTC Dominance: The Ultimate Sibling Rivalry

Then there’s the prodigious BTC Dominance, the barometer that tracks how much attention Bitcoin hogs—like a toddler in a candy store. Khaneghah is all-too-eager to explain: “Increasing Dominance = BTC is the star of the show while altcoins shyly linger in the shadows.”

When everyone and their pet goldfish seem to be scrambling after Bitcoin, the altcoins just look forlornly at the ceiling, pondering if it’s time to jump ship, or just hope an existential crisis would grant them some attention.

Total Market Cap (TOTAL2) Without BTC: The Awkward Family Dinner

Now enter TOTAL2, which bravely flirts with the idea of excluding Bitcoin from the crypto market cap—yes, like the family member who shows up late and drunk to a gathering. Khaneghah supposedly advises: “When BTC.D falls, it’s like the invitation for capital to dance with the altcoins.”

It’s basically a dance party where Bitcoin is doing the cha-cha while everyone else tries desperately to catch up—an all-too-familiar scenario for many.

ETH/BTC: A Relationship Status of Uncertain Vibes

Let’s not forget ETH/BTC, our delightful relationship status indicator. Khaneghah declares: “The best altcoin plays happen when ETH/BTC stops trending downwards because then, friends, alts can finally breathe!”

When Ethereum looks especially lovely against Bitcoin, it makes everyone feel giddy about the prospect of an “altseason”—a fanciful festival where altcoins get to enjoy their moment in the limelight instead of hiding under Bitcoin’s overbearing shadow.

SOL/BTC: The Underappreciated Best Friend

The cherry on top is the lovely little SOL/BTC. Khaneghah nonchalantly suggests it’s not vital to look into it deeply, but really, who doesn’t like a plot twist? “People will think SOL has ‘pumped already,’” he shrugs, as if that’s a reason not to invest. Spoiler: it isn’t!

If Solana continues its unwavering journey to outperform Bitcoin—like a stubborn tortoise winning over a speedy hare—then we might just see some capital shuffling in its direction. Consider your invites to the SOL dinner party in the mail!

And just before you dive into a rabbit hole of crypto existential dread, here’s the final note: as of now, Bitcoin is cruising at a friendly $105,026, toying with the idea of either a glorious ascension or a comical fall. Stay tuned, will you?

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2025-01-30 20:12