Why Tether’s $13B Profit Made Wall Street Cry 😭

Oh, look who’s flexing again. Tether Holdings Limited, the Beyoncé of stablecoins, just wrapped up 2024 with a mic drop. According to their fancy Q4 report (courtesy of BDO, because only the best accountants will do), they’re sitting on a mountain of cash like a dragon guarding its treasure. 🐉💰

The report confirmed that Tether’s Consolidated Reserves Report (CRR) is as accurate as my grandma’s lasagna recipe. Assets? Backed. Profits? Skyrocketing. Investments? Strategic AF. Basically, Tether is doing everything except writing a self-help book on how to win at finance.

And let’s talk about their golden child, USDT, the stablecoin that’s so stable it makes yoga instructors jealous. Zero volatility? A market cap of $139.35 billion? A 24-hour volume of $51.92 billion? Please, someone give it a crown already. 👑

Fast forward to Q4, and Tether’s net profits hit a jaw-dropping $13 billion. Their group equity? Over $20 billion. They’re basically the Kardashians of the financial world—everyone’s watching, and they keep winning.

But wait, there’s more! Tether’s been hoarding US Treasuries like they’re collecting Pokémon cards—$113 billion worth, to be exact. That’s more than some countries. And their reserve buffer? A cool $7 billion, up 36% from last year. Meanwhile, I’m over here struggling to save $7 for a latte. 😂

In Q4 alone, they issued $23 billion in USDT, bringing their total issuance for 2024 to $45 billion. That’s basically the GDP of a small country. And let’s not forget their investments in gold, Bitcoin, and other shiny things, which brought in about $5 billion in unrealized profits. Not bad for a Tuesday.

Oh, and did I mention Tether’s expanding empire? They’ve got their eyes on El Salvador, where they’ve secured a stablecoin issuer and Digital Asset Service Provider (DASP) license. Move over, Bitcoin Beach—Tether’s setting up shop.

But it doesn’t stop there. They’re diving into Bitcoin mining, renewable energy, AI, telecommunications, and even education. Because why stick to one industry when you can conquer them all? 🏆

So, hats off to Tether for making 2024 their playground. While the rest of us are just trying to survive, they’re out here breaking records and making Wall Street look like amateurs. Here’s to 2025—may it be just as ridiculous. 🥂

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2025-01-31 22:46