Vitalik Buterin’s Crypto Jailbreak: Free the Coders, Save the World! 🚀

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Ethereum’s boy genius, Vitalik Buterin, has decided to play the role of crypto Robin Hood, demanding the release of two of the blockchain world’s most infamous inmates: Virgil Griffith and Roman Storm. Because, apparently, coding is now a crime punishable by prison time. Who knew? 🤷‍♂️

This plea comes hot on the heels of Ross Ulbricht’s pardon by none other than Donald Trump. Yes, the same Trump who once called Bitcoin a scam. The irony is thicker than a blockchain ledger. Ulbricht, the mastermind behind Silk Road, is now a free man, and the crypto world is collectively scratching its head, wondering if justice is just a game of political roulette.

Silk Road’s Freedom Sparks Vitalik’s Crypto Crusade

In a post on X (formerly Twitter, for those of you still catching up), Buterin declared, “No man left behind.” A noble sentiment, though one can’t help but wonder if he’s secretly drafting a blockchain-based prison escape plan. His call to action? Free Tornado Cash co-founders Roman Storm and Alexey Pertsev. Because nothing says “justice” like a billionaire coder tweeting at a former president.

No man left behind.@rstormsf and @alex_pertsev next.

Tornado Cash itself won an important case today:

— vitalik.eth (@VitalikButerin) January 22, 2025

Buterin’s plea came just hours after Trump pardoned Ulbricht, who had been serving double life sentences for creating Silk Road. Yes, double life sentences. Because apparently, selling drugs online is worse than, say, starting a war. The crypto community, ever the optimists, saw this as a sign that maybe, just maybe, the legal system isn’t entirely rigged against them. Or maybe it’s just Trump being Trump. Who knows?

The Trials and Tribulations of Crypto’s Most Wanted

Virgil Griffith, the Ethereum developer who thought it was a good idea to give North Korea crypto advice, is currently serving a 56-month sentence. Because nothing says “bad life choices” like helping a dictatorship bypass sanctions. Meanwhile, Roman Storm, co-founder of Tornado Cash, is facing charges of money laundering and sanctions violations. His defense? “It’s just software, bro.” Bold strategy, let’s see if it pays off.

Storm’s trial has been delayed so many times, it’s starting to feel like a blockchain transaction stuck in limbo. He’s taken to social media to vent his frustrations, tagging everyone from Elon Musk to Donald Trump. Because when you’re in legal trouble, why not shoot your shot with the richest man on Earth and a former president? 🎯

Tornado Cash: The Little Mixer That Could

In a plot twist worthy of a Netflix documentary, a US appeals court ruled that the Treasury Department overstepped its authority by sanctioning Tornado Cash. Yes, the same Treasury Department that thought it could treat software like a person. The court’s decision was a massive win for the crypto community, proving that sometimes, even the government can’t stop the unstoppable force of decentralized finance.

🚨 BREAKING 🚨

🇺🇸 U.S Court lifted OFAC sanctions on Tornado Cash. This is a Massive win for privacy tokens.

Crypto is winning, thanks to TRUMP.

— Ash Crypto (@Ashcryptoreal) January 22, 2025

Meanwhile, Binance’s former CEO, Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, is probably wondering if he’s next on Trump’s pardon list. After stepping down in 2023 amid a multi-billion-dollar fine and a lifetime ban from leading the company, CZ served a brief prison sentence. But the legal drama isn’t over yet. Because in the world of crypto, the only thing more volatile than the market is the legal system.

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2025-01-23 00:12