The Cannibal of Gotham? Uwe Boll Directs Dark Knight

by

Unquestionably the epitome of cinematic trash, the undisputed champion in this realm is none other than the renowned Uwe Boll. Uwe Boll doesn’t merely win Razzie Awards; instead, he takes home the Worst Career Achievement Razzie Award for being often compared to Germany’s equivalent of Ed Wood. Occasionally, he even dabbles in acting. And in a twist, he selects the role of Uwe Boll himself – and guess what? Even then, he receives a Razzie nomination. Now, his latest project bears a familiar title and features a once-prominent actor. Here’s everything you don’t need to know (and trust me, you’ll be glad you didn’t), about Uwe Boll and his upcoming film.

The German Troublemaker

Have you ever pondered why films based on video games often fall short? That’s Uwe Boll for you! Titles like Far Cry, starring Germany’s second-largest crime figure Til Schweiger, and BloodRayne, featuring Oscar-winning actor Ben Kingsley, are just a couple of his numerous video game adaptations that seem to disregard at least 50 articles of the Geneva Convention. When challenged about his work format, he infamously referred to game developers as “small, pathetic sausages” and used some colorful German language, proving that they don’t call it the language of poets for nothing. In 2006, he even staged a boxing match against his biggest film critics, reminiscent of what Logan Paul would later do years down the line.

— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) February 13, 2025

Since his latest movie is titled “The Dark Knight“, Warner Brothers sent him a legal notice attempting to halt the project as they felt that Nolan’s film would pale in comparison to Mr. Boll’s upcoming masterpiece. Uwe countered this by pointing out that Warner Brothers had previously used “Rampage” as a film title, even though he had used it for one of his films long ago. Interestingly, Uwe’s Rampage movie had borrowed its name from the video game Rampage, but was not based on the game itself, while the Rock’s film was an adaptation of the same video game. However, it seems like we’re just spectators in Uwe Boll’s universe.

Match Made In Heaven

In a new role, Armie Hammer portrays a local resident who decides to fight crime in his own town, using extreme methods as a vigilante. This earns him widespread praise online, while Sanders faces scrutiny from the law enforcement. Notably, Hammer’s career in Hollywood took a hit due to accusations of cannibalism and misconduct, leaving him with only one significant asset: his family’s substantial wealth. In an ironic twist, he seems to have turned the phrase “Eat the rich” on its head, given his unique circumstances.

Uwe Boll unveiled his latest film in his characteristic understated and humble fashion: “The Dark Knight is on its way!” He promised an end to juvenile, progressive, politically correct storylines; instead, he’s delivering the genuine article. The main character seems to be Armie Hammer threatening the police with a challenge: “Want a piece of me?” But before that, he wants a taste of them, accompanied by some fava beans and a fine Chianti wine.

2011, you know, the year when that legendary filmmaker Spielberg amazed us all by juggling projects like a pro. He filmed BloodRayne: The Third Reich, Auschwit(z), where he portrayed a chilling gas chamber guard, not to mention In the Name of the King: Two Worlds, and, oh yeah, don’t forget Blubberella, where Uwe Boll himself played Adolf Hitler in a superhero flick. That year was pure cinematic gold!

Are you a fan of Uwe Boll’s movies, or do you find yourself watching them despite their questionable quality? Share your thoughts below!

Read More

2025-02-21 13:39