Parents of Crypto Kingpin Bankman-Fried Pull Out All the Stops for Trump Pardon!

by

In a tale as twisted as a pretzel, the esteemed progenitors of Sam Bankman-Fried, both of whom bask in the hallowed halls of Stanford Law, have taken to the shadows, plotting and scheming to secure a presidential pardon from none other than Donald Trump. After their beloved offspring was sentenced to a staggering 25 years in the clink for his role in the grand FTX debacle, they’ve turned to legal wizards and Trump’s inner circle for a glimmer of hope. 🧐

According to the ever-watchful Bloomberg, Joseph Bankman and Barbara Fried have been engaged in a flurry of discussions about the elusive clemency. While they haven’t exactly waltzed into the White House yet, whispers suggest they’re exploring every nook and cranny of the legal labyrinth to lighten their son’s hefty sentence. Who knew parental love could be so… strategic? 🤷‍♂️

These recent maneuvers come on the heels of a veritable explosion of clemency requests, particularly from white-collar miscreants hoping to hitch a ride on Trump’s pardon express. Legal sage Jeffrey Grant chimed in, noting the rising tide of inquiries:

“We have been hearing from people in prison, from people recently sentenced who haven’t reported to the Bureau of Prisons yet, from people who have been indicted. They are looking for somebody who knows somebody.”

Trump’s Pardons—A VIP Club for Convicts

Ah, the illustrious history of Donald Trump and his penchant for doling out clemency to the crème de la crème of the criminal world! One can’t help but recall the saga of Ross Ulbricht, the Silk Road mastermind, who, after a decade of legal wrangling, snagged a full pardon from Trump last week. Talk about a comeback! 🎉

Now, the Silk Road saga has become the gold standard in discussions about Bankman-Fried’s potential pardon. But alas, unlike Ulbricht, our crypto kingpin lacks the kind of public adoration that could sway the scales of justice. His plea for mercy rests on the shaky assertion that most FTX customers have managed to retrieve their funds—an argument that some legal eagles believe might just tip the balance in his favor. 🤔

White-collar prison consultant Sam Mangel, who has danced with many a clemency case, confirmed that Trump’s advisors are steering clear of crimes that involve violence, sex offenses, or illegal immigration. But fraud? Ah, that’s a murky pond, leaving Bankman-Fried’s fate hanging in the balance like a piñata at a birthday party. 🎈

A Crypto-Political Tango

As Trump readies himself for a potential 2024 presidential encore, his views on cryptocurrency have done a complete 180. Once a vocal critic, he’s now embraced the digital gold rush, winning over crypto enthusiasts and those clamoring for regulatory rollbacks. His administration has even launched a national digital asset stockpile initiative, led by the illustrious AI and Crypto Czar David Sacks. Talk about a power couple! 💪

This newfound love affair has sparked rampant speculation about whether Bankman-Fried, once a titan of the crypto realm, might just ride the wave of Trump’s pro-digital asset policies. On Kalshi, a betting market, the odds of an SBF pardon have surged to a whopping 8% following the news of his parents’ legal escapades. Who knew hope could be so quantifiable? 📈

The parents of Sam Bankman-Fried are working on a pardon from President Trump for their son, per BBG. His odds of a Trump pardon have increased to 8% today.

— Kalshi (@Kalshi) January 30, 2025

Meanwhile, Ryan Salame, a former FTX executive currently serving a seven-year sentence, is also reportedly angling for a pardon. The growing roster of individuals seeking Trump’s clemency underscores the burgeoning influence of his inner circle in shaping the legal landscape. It’s a veritable buffet of second chances! 🍽️

Read More

2025-01-31 02:49