Larry David Explains the XRP-Bitcoin Feud

by

So, you know how Trump, that guy, signed some order about a digital asset stockpile? Well, it turns out the crypto world went bonkers, like a bunch of squirrels in a dumpster. These Bitcoin fanatics, I mean, they’re like, “Bitcoin is the king, baby! It’s the only store of value!” It’s like they’re all wearing those “I ❤️ NY” hats but instead it says “I ❤️ BTC.” 😠

But then Brad Garlinghouse, the guy who runs Ripple, you know, the ones who make XRP, he said, “Woah, woah, woah, guys. Chill out. You’re being so maximalistic, it’s like you’re all wearing the same pair of pants.” He wants everyone to, you know, play nice and work together. “Collaboration, not competition,” he says. Like some hippie at a Grateful Dead concert. ☮️

He even said that if the government makes this digital asset reserve, it shouldn’t be just Bitcoin, you know, because that’s like only having one pair of shoes. It’s gotta be a mix, you know? A whole crypto buffet! Because let’s be honest, having only Bitcoin is like wearing the same outfit every day. I mean, you can’t go to a nice restaurant in those ripped jeans, can you? 🤦‍♂️

So, of course, the Bitcoin people are like, “Ripple’s lobbying! They’re spending millions to get XRP in there! They’re just trying to push their own coin!” They’re like, “They’re ruining everything! It’s a conspiracy!” It’s like, they saw a guy with a green hat and they’re screaming about aliens. 👽

One guy, Jack Mallers, he’s like, “Ripple is attacking our national security! They’re undermining Bitcoin!” I mean, come on, it’s not like XRP’s gonna launch a nuclear attack. It’s just a digital coin! It’s not like it’s gonna start a war. 🙄

And then you have these lawyers, you know, talking about how much XRP Ripple owns, and it’s like, “Oh, it’s under 38% now! But they’re still lobbying!” I mean, it’s like, what’s 38%? It’s almost like, nothing! I’d be more concerned if they owned like, 99% of it. But 38%? That’s just barely a percentage. 🤏

You know, the whole thing is just a mess. It’s like watching a bunch of toddlers fighting over a toy. They’re all screaming and crying, and nobody’s actually playing with the toy. It’s just a lot of yelling and arguing. And in the end, nobody wins. Except maybe the lawyers, you know, they’re making a fortune off all this chaos. 🤑

Read More

2025-01-29 14:50