Crypto Rollercoaster 🎢

So, crypto, right? One minute it’s down $530 million, the next it’s up a billion. Like a bad comedian, it just can’t decide whether it wants to bomb or kill. This DeepSeek thing? Sounds like a made-up word a five-year-old came up with. And everyone’s panicking? Oy vey.

Source: CoinShares

Forty-four billion in inflows? Fifty-three billion year-to-date? These numbers are like the wait time at the DMV – ridiculously long and making me question my life choices. But hey, as long as someone’s making money, right? Even if it’s not me.

America, always showing off with their $474 million inflows. Canada? Losing money. Classic Canada. They’re probably too busy being polite to notice.

Source: CoinShares

Bitcoin, the George Costanza of crypto – somehow always comes out on top. Four hundred eighty-six million? I can’t even get a reservation at a decent restaurant. Ethereum? Zero flows. Pretty, pretty, pretty bad.

XRP, the Newman of crypto. Sneaky and surprisingly successful. Second best performing altcoin? Get outta here! Like finding a twenty in your old pants – a pleasant surprise, I guess.

“XRP is now the 2nd best performing altcoin…” Yeah, yeah, we get it. Braggart.

Spot Bitcoin ETFs – these things are like the latest trendy sneakers. Everyone’s gotta have ’em. But daily inflows? Inconsistent. Like my golf swing.

BlackRock’s IBIT, another winner. Grayscale, Fidelity, Bitwise? Losers. It’s like a Seinfeld episode. Someone’s up, someone’s down. What’s the deal with crypto, anyway?

Source SoSoValue

ETF trading volume, Bitcoin price…blah, blah, blah. It’s all just a big casino. And I’m pretty sure the house always wins. Except when it comes to me. I’m pretty sure I’d lose at a casino designed for losing.

January’s ETF inflow trends? Positive, negative, who knows? It’s like trying to understand the rules of golf – pointless and frustrating. I’d rather be watching TV.

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2025-02-03 16:55