The principal architect of this uproar? None other than Wyoming’s Stable Token Commission—possibly the first American governmental body not entirely occupied by cattle and existential dread. Aptos, amongst a positively plebeian field of blockchains, seized the highest possible score (32!), thus ensuring its place at the shortlisting ball for the illustrious WYST stablecoin pilot.
As the news spread like wildfire, traders and investors scrambled to get in on the action. The rally, it seemed, had been triggered by SEI breaking out of a six-month-long descending broadening wedge pattern. And what a breakout it was! The cryptocurrency had recovered from its monthly low of $0.1596 on June 17, marking a 35% jump in just three days. 🤯
The analyst starts by addressing the mood of the masses. Apparently, retail comment threads have turned into a digital version of a high school cafeteria, where everyone is complaining about how Doge has been “doing nothing for months.” But Cantonese Cat, with the wisdom of a seasoned trader, points out that this is exactly what bull markets are designed to do: “A lot of people are getting really bitter about Doge … that’s exactly how higher highs and higher low type situations are supposed to get you all frustrated. This is still a bull trend until proven otherwise.” 🙄
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal about a triangle?” Well, my friends, in the world of technical analysis, triangles are like the crystal balls of the market. 🔮 They can predict the future, or at least, that’s what the experts claim! 😉
The most eye-catching feature of this graphic is a series of regular bullish divergences—where the price sets progressively lower lows while the RSI, that fickle friend, traces higher troughs. Cantonese Cat, in a moment of sheer brilliance, points out three such inflection points: the first in August 2024, the second in March and April 2025, and the latest in mid-June. It’s like a soap opera, but with more numbers and less drama.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Another cycle? Really?” But hear me out. Titan’s got a theory, and it’s as fascinating as it is confusing. Apparently, Bitcoin’s last two cycles followed a pattern of 13 months of decline, followed by 35 months of gains. In 2014-15, Bitcoin plummeted from $1,240 to $161 over 396 days. Then, it rallied for 1,065 days to hit $19,800 in December 2017. The same pattern repeated after 2018, ending at $69,000 in 2021. 📈
On June 19, they had the audacity to take to X (formerly Twitter) with the bombshell announcement: “Time’s up – full source code linked below. Assets left in Nobitex are now entirely out in the open.” How very generous of them, don’t you think? They didn’t just take the money—they gave away the keys to the kingdom. 👑
In just seven days, PI has plummeted by 15%. That’s a whole lot of drama! And the market volatility? You could say it’s as unpredictable as a soap opera plot twist. But here’s a little glimmer of hope: PI is still 37% above its all-time low. Silver linings, right? 😅 But hold on to your hats, because technical indicators are screaming “oversold!” like your grandma’s broken record. And guess what? That might mean a rebound… or not. You just can’t make this stuff up.
Murray Rudd and Dennis Porter, as if Tolstoyan characters seeking meaning lest their souls wither like stale bread, pronounced that by the year 2036, the price of Bitcoin would soar to $4.3 million. Yes, dear reader, this is not the punchline to a peasant joke, but rather the culmination of much mathematical modeling and, doubtless, several sleepless nights.
According to our legal eagle, both teams have asked Judge Torres for an indicative ruling. Sounds fancy, right? This ruling is like a GPS for the next steps in this legal maze. 🧭