Crypto News

According to the tarot card—erm, technical analysis—conducted by the ever-astute Michaël van de Poppe, Bitcoin’s upward ascent suggests that we’re on track for a veritable rollercoaster of a week. Fancy that! As if the market’s ever predictable—more twists than a stocking on a Saturday night, I dare say.

So, Bitcoin’s back, darling! Up 1.7% in the last 24 hours, hitting a cool $109,505. Which, let’s be honest, sounds like Monopoly money at this point. And it’s only 2% away from its all-time high? Groundbreaking. 🙄

TAO’s market cap is sitting pretty at $3.82 billion, more than most small nations can boast. Trading volume? Oh, just $174.38 million in a day—more than enough to make day traders do backflips. Yesterday’s volume? Over double that. Clearly, someone’s gambling on this digital rollercoaster 🎢.

A paltry 2.45% surge! Is this what we now call a recovery? After that nauseating drop to the $140 slums? Oh, the indignity! This altcoin, once so proud, has indeed scrambled out of its multi-month tomb—a downtrend so profound it dragged the token to a 14-month nadir of $95. A pittance, I say, a mere prelude to further suffering.

But don’t you worry, dear reader. According to the wise cryptic oracle CryptoQuant – that posthumous prophet penned by the mysterious Darkfost – the net position of these short-term desperados has plummeted a staggering 833,000 BTC over the past month. A tragic figure, considering that during the April’s epic showdown, they lost nearly 977,000 BTC. Clearly, the short-term crowd is a fickle bunch, prone to tantrums especially when Bitcoin dares to dip below $80,000 and wail at $74,508. As Darkfost ominously remarks, they have become “much more sensitive,” as if their emotional baggage had grown a few sizes last week.

Since the dawn of this year, Ethereum’s been goin’ through some rough patches—kind of like a riverboat captain with a busted paddle. But folks believe—yes, they do—that if the bold bulls can just push past that $2,800 resistance and turn it into support, we might see a mighty ol’ push upwards. That’d open the floodgates for a rippin’ altcoin rally, sure as eggs is eggs. 🥚

In a recent post on X (formerly known as Twitter, because rebranding is all the rage), Balchunas mused about the future of crypto ETFs. He confidently declared that we’ll first be inundated with a “slew of active crypto ETFs” by Winter 2025, followed by a meme coin-only fund in 2026. Because, obviously, the world needs more ways to gamble on internet jokes. 🙄

This delightful surge places KTA tantalizingly close to the hallowed halls of the top 200 cryptocurrencies by market cap. According to the ever-reliable CoinMarketCap, the 24-hour trading volume has also seen a 33% uptick, which can only mean one thing: investors are getting rather excited, and who can blame them?

May was a month of reckless optimism, as Bitcoin soared from $95,000 to flirt with $112,000, only to be slapped back down—nature’s way of saying, “Calm down, young crypto.” Now, caught in a tightrope between $100,000 and $106,000, the digital asset lounges in the middle—comfy, for now. Support levels tease at $95,000 and $85,000, should the bears extend their reign, while the bulls dream of smashing past $106,000 for a ticket to $120,000.

Meanwhile, the market whisperers—charts, graphs, and RSI indicators—tell us Bitcoin might be done with its correction. At $104,650 and rising, the king of cryptocurrencies is strutting slightly above the $2 trillion mark, eyeing, perhaps, that overbought zone of 70+ RSI. Ah, the suspense! Will Bitcoin soar, or will it stumble? Stay tuned to this soap opera of digital riches. 🎭📉

On the fateful day of June 4, Musk unleashed a tweet, decrying what he termed “reckless government spending.” His words, laden with foreboding, warned of “serious economic risks.” In a matter of moments, Trump retaliated, brandishing threats to withdraw subsidies and contracts linked to Tesla. The result? A staggering $150 billion evaporated from Tesla’s market value, leaving investors in a state of shock, as if they had just witnessed a magician’s trick gone awry.