Battle Train review: Staying on the rails

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As a passionate gamer, I can tell you that Battle Train is an exhilarating blend of outlandish concepts, where strategy meets trains and card games. It’s like being the host of a zany game show, but with the added thrill of building your own deck and managing trains simultaneously. The developers, Terrible Posture Games and Nerd Ninjas, have shown an audacious spirit, one that eventually caught the eye of publisher Bandai Namco.

The fusion of these diverse ideas is impressive, but there are a few rough patches on the tracks that make the journey less smooth than I’d like. Despite these minor hiccups, Battle Train offers a unique gaming experience that’s worth hopping aboard for a ride.

A loco’s motive

In essence, the narrative of Battle Train revolves around a zany television program sharing the same name, where participants compete in train-versus-train battles to challenge the show’s titular character: President Conductor Aalvado, also known as the Duke of Demolition and Admiral of Diesel and Steam. This moniker is quite lengthy, hinting at his eccentric personality within the game. Aalvado harbors an unhealthy fascination with the destruction caused by his trains, taking great pleasure in their explosions.

The network behind this show finds his antics to be profitable, with only occasional reservations. The viewers, too, are largely captivated by Battle Train, particularly when players assume the role of audience members for each round.

It might seem that the narrative in a game like Battle Train wouldn’t make much difference, but surprisingly, it turns out to be significant in several aspects. For instance, simply achieving a successful run isn’t enough for success; you must also reach a specific score milestone during your current session and watch a predetermined number of story cutscenes that are scattered throughout each playthrough’s route. This means that Battle Train cannot be completed in just one go, which can sometimes feel disheartening.

Although reaching Aalvado might sometimes feel like running into a storytelling roadblock, it certainly offers a unique method to unfold the game’s narrative. To be frank, I found myself chuckling at the reality-show-like exchanges between Aalvado, host Hank, the discontented assistant Joice, and the vibrant collection of bosses in the documentary style. Despite the peculiar juxtaposition with the game’s main theme, it somehow creates an unexpectedly enjoyable experience.

Chugging along

Discussing unusual combinations, the main mechanic in Battle Train revolves around a grid system and employing train card pieces to link your train station with an opponent’s depot. When all parts are connected, you can launch the train as a projectile until every depot is destroyed. Similar to numerous deckbuilders, there’s a resource management aspect using minerals, which can be boosted by attaching mineral mines to your tracks.

The approach can change significantly during a game of Battle Train and present multiple routes towards winning. Skill cards may help weaken your opponent or enhance your train, but the key card in a player’s deck is often bombs. These bombs, even when there seems to be no clear route to the depot, can strike directly if you have enough and are adjacent to your opponent’s depot. The tension escalates further once you understand that linking up with an opponent’s tracks can provide a quick shortcut to their depot, and also let you share their mineral mines for extra resources. Conversely, this tactic can be used against you as well, potentially creating a simpler path to your own depot. The gameplay is so intricate that it’s a shame there’s no option to compete against friends using pre-constructed decks, but that remains unattainable for now.

As a gamer, let me tell you about my experience with Battle Train. Sometimes, the game’s design trips me up when it comes to certain decisions that affect the quality of play. For instance, there are moments when the game doesn’t seem to be going my way – maybe I drew cards that don’t synergize well or the game has spiraled out of control and recovery seems impossible. Unfortunately, in these situations, there’s no choice but to continue playing. There’s no option to forfeit or surrender, only to pause and resume later. This means that when I find myself with no winning strategy, I have to play through the entire game.

A case in point is when I unintentionally pressed the End Turn button without a way to reverse the action. In such instances, a simple “Are you sure you want to end your turn?” prompt could have saved me from unnecessary frustration.

Although Battle Train is an entertaining game, it falls short as a Nintendo Switch title due to suboptimal performance. The later boss battles can become quite intense with numerous track parts, objects, and points of interest scattered across the grid. Unfortunately, this overload often causes the game to slow down significantly, almost coming to a complete stop, even affecting the music playback. This poor performance isn’t just limited to these instances. Even when I open the collection menu to browse through my unlocked cards and train parts, the menu takes a long time to load and is sluggish in response to button inputs.

Choo-choo

Battle Train offers numerous appealing aspects such as its innovative concept, the harmonious blend of gameplay concepts that seem incompatible yet work surprisingly well, and a vibrant narrative populated by interesting characters. It’s a game with many interconnected elements, but once you dive into the gameplay, it feels intuitive. Unfortunately, some questionable design decisions regarding user experience and significant technical problems cause this train to abruptly halt.

As it is now, Battle Train is a fun ride, but maybe not everyone should ride these rails just yet.

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2025-06-17 16:57