Altcoins to Riches? Top 5 Picks Revealed! 🚀

by

Right, so, according to this chap Michaël van de Poppe, an Amsterdam-based trader—because Amsterdam is clearly the new Wall Street 🙄—apparently “retail isn’t here in the markets as of yet.” Which I assume means normal people haven’t yet been suckered into buying magic internet beans. And the Altcoin Season Index, whatever that is, is apparently “languishing.” Languishing! As if it’s some poor, misunderstood poet. Anyway, it’s below 50, which means everyone’s still obsessed with Bitcoin. Yawn.

But hold on! Van de Poppe reckons the ETH/BTC pair—sounds like a dodgy law firm—has rebounded by a whopping 38–42 percent! He thinks this is a “concrete sign” of something or other. Capital rotating down the risk curve? Sounds painful. Apparently, Ethereum is clawing back ground. Good for it. He says, “We’ve had a 40% return against Bitcoin in just a week!” So, naturally, “the blue chips or the large caps are the ones to watch.” Because, you know, nothing screams excitement like “large caps.” 😴

Crypto Watchlist: The Magnificent Five (According to Someone)

Van de Poppe’s grand plan is based on a “classic money-flow model.” Which basically means money sloshes around from Bitcoin to Ethereum, then to things with increasingly silly names. He’s picked five… things… that he thinks are at different levels of risk. Because everyone loves a good risk ladder, right? 🪜

First up is Chainlink (LINK). Apparently, it’s the “easiest play” on “institutional adoption.” Because institutions are just dying to adopt… something. He says we need “oracles” to connect web 2 and web 3. I’m not even going to pretend I know what that means. The LINK chart is “still at an all-time low,” which he thinks means it’ll go up. Makes perfect sense. 🙃

Next, we have Aave (AAVE). He calls it a “large cap which implies less risk.” Because large caps never, ever go bust. He thinks the market is “under-pricing” its role in bringing “bank-grade yield products on-chain.” Which sounds like something you’d find in a sci-fi novel. Donald Trump–linked World Liberty Financial apparently bought some. Make of that what you will. 🤔

Then comes Wormhole (W). It’s a “cross-chain messaging and liquidity layer.” It’s used to “transfer between the chains.” So, it’s a… bridge? Apparently, Binance listed it, which means more people can now buy it. Yay. 🎉

For the truly adventurous, there’s Peaq (PEAQ). It’s a layer-1 focused on DePIN and the machine economy. I’m starting to think these names are generated by a random word generator. He says it’s “finally waking up again.” There are “six-million devices active on the network!” Impressive, if you know what they’re doing. 🤷

And finally, Alkimi (ADS). It’s an “advertising project.” Its revenue has “gone 4x!” But the token price has plummeted. So, you know, swings and roundabouts. It’s a “decentralised ad exchange” that can apparently slash CPMs by over 200 percent. Which sounds like a scam, but what do I know? 🤷‍♂️

Van de Poppe finishes with some sage advice: “The larger the market cap, the longer it’s in business, the larger your allocation can be.” In other words, don’t bet the house on something that sounds like it was named by a toddler. 👶

At the time of writing, the total crypto market cap was $3.18 trillion. Which, let’s be honest, is still just Monopoly money for nerds. 🤓

Read More

2025-05-19 11:11