Kraken & Satoshi: A Match Made in Crypto

Mr. Conor Grogan, director of Coinbase, a gentleman of considerable acumen in the realm of digital currencies, has, through his diligent research on the platform X, posited a most intriguing theory. He suggests that Kraken, another prominent player in the cryptosphere, might possess vital information regarding the true identity of Bitcoin‘s elusive architect, Satoshi Nakamoto. Apparently, Mr. Grogan believes that Nakamoto’s digital purse may have interacted with CaVirtEx, a Canadian exchange subsequently absorbed by Kraken in the year 2016. 😨

Kraken, in its characteristically enigmatic fashion, took to X with a cryptic pronouncement: “We are all Satoshi.” A statement, no doubt, designed to stir the pot and set tongues wagging amongst the crypto cognoscenti. 🕵️‍♀️

Mr. Grogan’s findings, if one may so call them, indicate that Nakamoto might hold a staggering 1.096 million BTC, a sum equivalent to a tidy sum of $108 billion, a fortune that would place him on par with, if not surpassing, the wealth of Mr. Bill Gates. This revelation, naturally, has sent ripples of excitement through the digital finance community. 🤑

The research, which one can only hope is more robust than a flimsy fan-fiction, details 24 recorded transactions from addresses purportedly connected to Nakamoto, with the most frequent recipient being 1PYYj – an address linked to CaVirtEx. One might almost say that the trail leads straight to Kraken’s doorstep. 🚪

Mr. Grogan, in his characteristically irreverent manner, suggested that Mr. Jesse Powell, Kraken’s co-founder, might hold the key to unraveling Satoshi’s identity, assuming, of course, that Kraken retained any KYC data. He even dared to playfully advise Mr. Powell to “delete the data.” A most audacious suggestion, one imagines. 🙈

2014: Satoshi Nakamoto’s Alleged Final On-Chain Activity

Mr. Grogan speculates that Nakamoto’s last known on-chain activity was in 2014, with 200 BTC sent to the Bitcoin faucet across two transactions. The research also casts doubt on earlier theories linking Nakamoto to Mr. Len Sassaman, a prominent cryptographer and advocate for privacy. Mr. Grogan, with a chuckle, noted that this research actually strengthened his belief that Satoshi is no longer active. One can only wonder what, if anything, this means for the future of Bitcoin.

It’s worth noting, of course, that Mr. Hal Finney, a pivotal figure in Bitcoin’s early development and the recipient of the first Bitcoin transaction, passed away in August 2014. Despite this, analyses have consistently debunked the theory that Mr. Finney was Nakamoto.

Kraken’s Ambiguous Response

Kraken’s cryptic social media post only served to fan the flames of speculation. Mr. Grogan, ever the wit, quipped, “It’s official then,” implying that Kraken may indeed possess the key to unlocking Satoshi’s identity. Mr. Andy Quach, Kraken’s UK Head of Commercial, even suggested that this secret might be part of the company’s unique onboarding process. A most amusing proposition, to be sure.

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2025-02-06 13:10